When the phone rings and my mom, dad, uncle or aunt goes to get the phone.. They check the caller id and look at who’s calling, but they can’t see and they need their glasses.. or they look at it and say, “Who’s ____?” .. and the phone is still ringing.. By the time they actually answer the phone, the phone stops ringing. Yeah. story of my life.
Life is unfair. You put someone first who puts you second. You study your ass off for a final only to get a B in the class when you deserved an A. You give 110% to someone in a relationship when they only give 40%. You’re there for your best friend at 3 a.m. when they need it the most & the next day they don’t pick up their phone. You give something your all & sometimes get little to nothing back. You care so much about someone who doesn’t care enough about you to say hi once in a while. You give someone your time & they give you “sorry, I’m busy”. It seems like you’re giving everyone everything & they’re just walking away with it.
Aka my life. I think of everything that could make my life 10x better. I think of what I’m missing in life that’s not giving me the happiness I want at the moment. I think of the people I’ve lost or don’t have that’s making me feel so incomplete. I think of where I’m going to go with my education and what career I should have to give me the future I always dream of. I think of the past way to many times. I think about what things would be like couple years from now. I think about the changes I could make in myself that could reduce the amount of negativity I keep throwing on me. If only I was taller, smarter, prettier, richer, more popular, talented, athletic, stronger, faster, cooler, etc.
I’m always thinking of what I don’t have instead of appreciating what I do have. While I’m searching for the puzzle pieces that will finally make me whole, I’m taking advantage of what’s already in front of me. I can’t always have what I want, I always knew that. It just never came to me and actually make me think and realize.
If I could live without those things and people before, I can live without them now.